Day 2: "After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, 'If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.' Jesus answered, 'It is written:Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'” Matthew 4:2-4
What was Jesus’ real temptation? It wasn’t to merely fill his cravings for bread; it was to manipulate the journey. Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 8 where Moses is reminding the Israelites how God delivered them and led them through the wilderness for forty years. He humbled them and tested them to see if they would obey his commands. He let them go hungry so they would learn to trust God. He fed them manna, which they had never seen, so that they would know that man does not live by bread alone but by trusting in God. Jesus was tested to see if he would manipulate the journey by using power to control his circumstances by turning stones to bread.
My time in the wilderness these past four years has been humbling to say the least. I’ve been pressed to the edge of my own limitations. I’ve been physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually humbled. There is only so much I can control. If I could have controlled more, I certainly would have. I would not have chosen the wilderness. I would have found an alternate route to where I am today. I am profoundly thankful for where I am today, but, the journey of brain cancer and the deep impact it has had on the people I deeply care about is nothing I ever would have chosen. But, the reality is, I had no choice. It is the wilderness that the Spirit has led me out to. A wilderness of testing. I can’t turn stones to bread, much less turn cancer into benign harmless cells. If I could I would, but man does not live by bread alone; man does not live by health and a secure future, but by trusting every word that comes from the mouth of God. The journey’s road before me only goes forward and I have no control to manipulate it. I can only control whether I embrace it, take step after step, and trust that just as Jesus’ wilderness journey immediately led to a ministry of “power in the Spirit” (Luke 4:14) God will move me through this wilderness and use my experience to announce the Good News of Jesus Christ that God brings life out of death.
"Holy God, I step into this wilderness journey reluctantly, and with much fear. Though, I also realize that I have not stepped into anything. It is a journey that came to meet me. I do embrace it and trust that you will use it to bring Good News that in Jesus Christ you have turned the world upside down and that you bring life where we only see death. I believe you breathed life into Jesus' broken body. I ask that you help me see a small glimpse today that you continue to breath life into our broken lives. As your closest disciples said, so I now say, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." AMEN!
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