I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord ’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:19-24
If the Lord is my portion, is he enough? I know what the trite answer is? But, day after day in the wilderness, is the Lord enough? This is a legitimate question because God is mystery. It's not just that God is mysterious, but God is mystery. It’s one thing to act in mysterious ways; this I am content with. I have no illusions that I am going to understand the ways God is working his will and reigning sovereign over the universe. I am completely content letting God take care of that. But, what is deeply disturbing is the presence of God as mystery. In the deafening silence of the wilderness I want to feel God’s presence or even hear his voice; at the minimum I would like a gentle breeze across my cheek just to know he is there. The wilderness, however, can be a lonely place. The wilderness is that place where we need God to be the most apparent, but it's where he often seems the most distant.
If God is my portion, is that portion that too often seems as filling as the pinch of bread and sip of juice on Sunday, enough?
As I reflect even now, am I speaking to God? Well yes, I imagine he is part of the conversation. I'm trying to listen however successful. But, speaking of God in the third person just seems too distant. Rather than saying “him,” I would love to say “you.” Is God enough? Is the illusive presence enough?
Is the ear shattering silence enough?
I guess the answer all depends on a clarifying question: "Enough for What?" I'll let that one sit and stew awhile.
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