Into the Wilderness: Day 3

 "Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’” Matthew 4:5-6

If the three temptations in the Garden (good for food, delight to the eye, and able to make one wise) are the three universal temptations referenced by John in the second chapter of his first letter (lust of flesh, lust of eyes, and boastful pride of life 1 John 2:16) then Jesus was tested with these three (turn stones to bread since you're starving, throw yourself down so the Angels will save you and will visually impress everyone with a cool trick, and finally, worship me and I'll give you authority over all the kingdoms of the earth). 

I wonder what is at the heart of the second temptation. Why do I so desperately want to be noticed by others? Why do I want to be impressive? I wonder if it is a misguided impulse to be loved? Deep down I just want to be vulnerable, I want to be held, I want to be honest about my weakness and my need to be sustained by unconditional love of another. This requires a letting go; a trust. This is the heart of faith. Jesus didn't need to test God because he didn't need the approval of others. He didn't need to be noticed because his core identity was born out of God's love. This doesn’t take away our need to be loved, but actually highlights it. May I love more and more, knowing that is my own deepest need.

Father of love, I confess that I seek to find my value in the approval of others, and the vain glory of being noticed by others. Deep down I just want to be held in unconditional love. But, your love as an idea to be believed is simply not enough. Help me feel your love in flesh and blood of others, especially as I give it away knowing your love grows as we share it together. Amen.